So Come Pick Me Up, I've Landed.

Always by my bedside I keep a novel, a notebook, and an orange highlighter. The novel is to read, the notebook to write and the highlighter to remind me if the things that made me feel something. Last night I thought I lost my lovely orange highlighter and was a lot more freaked then I probably should have been. But orange is such a neutral number. In between the pink and yellow highlighters which are both beautiful colors on their own but I wouldn't use them for signing away my life to the devil.

I've learned that I'm random. I've guess I have always known, but apparently the more random you are the more creative you are supposed to be. It has something to do with chemicals in the brain. I'm not a science person so I don't really understand but it seems pretty accurate to me.

Unfortunately, my posts are getting shorter and shorter, and taking me longer to write. School is creepin' and soon I won't be able to write often at all. I'll miss it when I can't, but I'll live. I've always been jealous of people who moved away and were able to switch schools but now it's my turn. I'm excited I got to transfer because I've been unhappy at Heritage and I was dying to get out. I even told my dad that I'd rather go to juvie for truancy then go back to Heritage, but for some reason up until my brother graduated it never occurred to me that I could switch. Now I have, and I'm happy. That's my story. It's not very exciting or worth reading but I hope you did anyways, because I'd like to think someone cares about me enough to do so.

Sometimes when I think about him or see his name pop up on my news feed while I'm on Facebook I remember those times we had together and become scared that I'll never find someone like him again. But the thing is, I don't want anyone like him ever again. We got a long great and he was sweet but it was all fake and why would I want to put myself through that again? Maybe it's just that I'm scared I'll never feel the same way about anyone else than I felt about him, but maybe that's okay too. All I'm sure of is I have moved on and although I think about it often, I don't miss him. Not as a boyfriend, not as a friend, not as a person. So why did I write about this? To remind the people out there that are having trouble moving on that you don't need them. There's a reason they didn't make if to your future and accepting that will make your life so much easier. If they're meant to come back they will you just have to wait for the right moment, don't force it. You are okay without them and you will survive even if it may not feel like it right now and during those moments when you feel weak and want to send that person a text or a Facebook message turn off your phone and your computer and do something that makes you happy so you remember that you can be happy without this person. You deserve better, but you can't meet the right person who will make you a happier version of yourself until you let go of the wrong one. Enough said. And I've found my guy.