"This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy...grew up believing he would never truly be happy until he found the one. This belief stemmed from early exposure to sad British pop music and a total misreading of the movie The Graduate. The girl...did not share this belief. Since the disintegration of her parents marriage she had only loved two things. The first was her long dark hair. The second was how easily she could cut it off and feel nothing. This is a story of boy meets girl, but you should know up front that this is not a love story."
-(500) Days Of Summer
I lost a best friend today. I feel like someone ripped my heart out of my chest and replaced it with a solid brick. I can't think about it anymore. I feel like I'm going insane. Not being able to talk to him hurts so much worse than the time I had to say goodbye to him and pretend it was because I didn't love him anymore. The truth is, I do love him, and I miss him everyday. I love him like the best friend that he is. Nothing more. No one trusts me on this. All I want is the friendship we've had for these past 3 years. The best 3 years of my life, even when they felt like the worst. He made them okay somehow. I hate this so much. I need help. I need to know everything will be okay again. I need him.
UPDATE: 7/22/10-
It's been over a month since I wrote this post and I realize looking back on it that I did feel like it was the worst thing that could happen at that time. I now realize that people around you know what they are talking about. If they tell you someone is bad news then just trust them because in the long run it will spare you a lot of unnecissary pain. I know now that everything happens for a reason and it's not end of the world if something bad happens to you. It happens, you grieve, you get over it. It's life.
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