Suddenly We Were Left Without The Worry Of Tomorrow

Emptiness inside me, wonder if you see

It's my mistake and it's hurting me
I know where we've been, how'd we get so far?
What if, what if we start again?
I'm lost inside the pain that I feel without you
I can't stop holding on, I need you with me
I'm caught inside the pain
Can we ever start again? I'm lost without you...

The feeling of love is so terrifying and exciting at the same time. Feeling something so powerful but being so out of control of that feeling. Sometimes it's wonderful, and comes at the right moment and sometimes it flies in at the worst time possible and you find yourself upside down and unable to right yourself. Either way, it's powerful, and either way you have to decide which direction to turn to. Pursue or walk. There's no in between, and despite being under the false illusion that there may be, there really is no "safe" place inside any of that. When you walk you feel small, insignificant, and incredibly lonely. When you pursue it you feel alive and important, yet still so incredibly lonely. It doesn't make any sense, but it is what it is. And when you figure that out, you are free.

Bad things happen to good people, and good people move on.

I think it's crazy that no matter how many movies have the same ending they can still be amazing. Even if you can completely guess what the ending will be, you can still watch without being bored because so much in the middle is completely different. It blows my mind. I had fun today. I got sunburnt but I was so happy all day and it was beautiful. Now though, I just want to sleep for a few days and forget a few aspects of life that are completely stressing me out. I don't need that right now. I wan't that stuff to turn it's back on me and leave me alone so I can have a peaceful summer with no drama and no pain. Just sun, swimming, happiness, and people I care about. That is exactly what I am longing for.