So this is my life, and I am both happy and sad- and still trying to figure out how that may be.
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My aspirations span wider than any map you'll ever read.

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

These Eyes Don't Shine Half As Bright As They Used To And They Haven't For Quite A While

Normally my head is spinning with thoughts, but today it's silent. I thought it was impossible to be so numb you can't even think, but now I understand. I've never heard silence quite this loud.

This morning I woke up empty. Empty of feelings. Empty of hope. Empty of love. Then I started to feel like I could be okay. Like I would be okay. But I was wrong. It came and gone so fast I'm not even sure it was really ever there. But what surprises me the most is that people see right through me. I thought I was doing a decent job at smiling and pretending everything was okay, but everyone kept asking what was wrong, and they didn't believe me when I said I was fine. I just want to be happy again.

I can't write this story with a happy ending.

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