I Watch The Clock To Make My Timing Just Right

A lot of people will spend the next year planning what they are going to wish for on November 11th, 2011 at 11:11 p.m. They will be so caught up in planning this wish they will forget to live the life they already have...all for a wish that may or may not come true. But why? Why do people constantly insist on asking for more, when all we need is right in front of us. Bored? Grab a book and sit in a tree and read it. Lonely? Call someone. We don't need to wish for the guy we might never have or the puppy we can't get because our mother is allergic. What we need is to learn to be satisfied with the life that has been given to us. There's a reason you're living the way you are, and it's your job to figure it out.

I've fought this battle more than once, but this time I'm going to win. I'm going to be perfect. A lot of times I read quotes that make me realize how fast I've been growing up. I'm trying to figure out if it's a good or bad thing, but I guess it's not really either. I mean, sometimes I think about my life, and I just want to bang my head against a wall. And it hurts because I'm doing as hard as I can in school, and I'm working my butt off in chemistry, and history and none of it seems to be paying off. I try so hard to make things run smoother, but it's never smooth enough; I'm still stretched thin. I need a break from life, a vacation. I don't mean just a short week off of school, I mean I need to get away from Michigan and just relax. I need to run miles in the sweltering heat, or take my niece to the park and watch her laugh as she goes down the slides. I need to swim under water and see how long I can hold my breath before my lungs scream in protest. I need to live. Because right now I'm numb, and it's cold, and there are only 8 hours of complete daylight. I need out.